I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
