I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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