Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
How does one acquire holy water?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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