yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
