In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
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hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
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I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i think i just lost a toe
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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