i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Randomize
