it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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