I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
