I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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