to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Drake has all the answers
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
we should paint friendship bongs
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
