Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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