I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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