I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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