he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
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i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
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I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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