Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I looked at my own cervix.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
