he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
