so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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