The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
