Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
