Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
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Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
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Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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