I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize