I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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