I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
