It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
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I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
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I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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