We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Naked Twister starts at high noon
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
