she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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