So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The beer is more important than you right now.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
