i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
