fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
