GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
