I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
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