How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
