you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
