Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
