If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
