bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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