Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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