Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
