I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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