I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
