I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
