Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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