i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
