He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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