He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
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I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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