Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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