fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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