guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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