OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
