if i can run in heels then i can drive
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
