we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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