If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
