I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
