i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
