Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
