we have pet lesbian snakes
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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