life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
