You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
